Stop Tripping over your Trauma Drama
Over the last two weeks, I have attended the 3rd annual Right-Brained Business Video Summit which was planned and coordinated by Jennifer Lee. Each weekday, for two full weeks, she had video interviews with various entrepreneurs, coaches, motivational and business speakers.
I just watched the last couple videos and truly felt that one of the speakers was talking to me. Casey Truffo, a therapist and entrepreneur, spoke about avoiding trauma drama and following your sacred ambition.
I have always just called them excuses – all those things that wear us down and keep us from following our dreams. Casey calls them Trauma Drama. I had to work late; my mom is sick; the dog had to go to the vet; I have to take the kids to dance class; my project isn’t making any money so why bother. Trauma Drama refers to every excuse, distraction, and bit of resistance you throw up as a reason for not pursuing your goal. We all have them.
We get all excited about a project and then find that weeks have gone by and we haven’t devoted any of our time to actually working on it. When we ask ourselves why, we rattle off all the excuses. Don’t do it. Don’t play that game with yourself. If you are truly honest with yourself, you will know that the reason you haven’t started that project is fear.
Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of being thought a fool by those around us. It comes in so many forms and it can be boiled down to fear of stepping out of the comfortable box that you have been living in. Fear of change is the bottom line excuse as to why you haven’t made the time to roll up your sleeves and start working on your dream.
One form of Trauma Drama that Casey mentioned really resonated with me. She talked about how we have to listen to the compliments that we receive. We are so quick to listen to the criticisms but we brush off the compliments with a blush and say, oh it was nothing. Oh, I didn’t do it, it was all so-and-so. Stop it! If you only take in the criticism, it will stop you in your tracks. You can’t take the bad and ignore the good. You can take all of it or none of it.
The biggest Trauma Drama though is that voice that surfaces when you start to branch out of your comfort zone and do something new and different. It may use different words, but it will ultimately ask~ Who are you to do this? Who are you to call yourself an expert, to offer this service, to write that book?
Casey turned it around and asked~ Who are you not to? This ambition, this dream has been written in your heart for a reason. Who are you not to share it?
That really made me sit back and think. Let’s repeat that line, shall we?
Who are you not to? This ambition, this dream has been written in your heart for a reason. Who are you not to share it?
I just may need to print that one in a little love note and post it on the bathroom mirror where I will see it every morning and every night.
Casey and Jennife had talked about the idea of following your sacred ambition, your authentic purpose. Those phrases sounded so lofty, so far beyond me and my little book that I wrote. Is writing a YA fantasy and getting it out to the world a sacred ambition? Turns out, it is.
A sacred ambition doesn’t have to be something big and scary. It is what gets you out of bed in the morning. It is the thing that you think about all day long. As my good friend and confidante, Susan, likes to say – It’s what kicks your skirt up!
We have to learn to trust ourselves. Trust that little voice inside that says, hey – this is worth doing if for no other reason than it makes you happy. Not everyone will support you, but then we are not here to make everyone else happy. That is not our job. You will have to learn to say no to things that are not in line with your goals. You cannot say yes to everyone else and expect to have the time and energy to pursue your dreams as well. And don’t for a moment let anyone make you believe that pursuing that dream is selfish. You are a better version of yourself when you are all fired up and passionate about something. Your joy and energy are contagious. That is a gift to everyone around you.
So let’s all make this the year that we leave the Trauma Drama behind us and live our authentic purposes! Let’s let that passion glow from every cell of our being. Let us be an inspiration to those around us who are too busy listening to the critics (including the loudest of them all – the inner critic) to even tap a toe outside their box. Let’s show everyone who encounters us the joy that comes from stretching ourselves and leaving the confines of our comfort zones in the dust!